Ya’ll know me. I enjoy talking about any shit under the sun. Even things like cars, tech, and other materialistic things. But the reality is, it’s like window shopping for me. I’m thrifty as a mother fucker. Just talking about it more than satisfies any curiosity I have about those things because I learned at a young mother fucking age to save my money, live within my means, and get a good fucking deal when it finally was time to buy something.

This shit goes back to my youth. When I was young and wanted some dumb ass G.I.JOE SR71 Blackbird or Zap-it disappearing color water gun or whatever, my dad would always make me trade something in exchange for it. Sure I could have that water gun if I took out the trash for 2 weeks straight. Or mow the lawn a few times. Or recited all the motherfucking states in the U.S. a thousand times.

I’m a dad now, so my life has drastically changed in the last few months. Some for the better, some for the worse, but irreversibly changed, nonetheless. When you become a dad and you’re as motherfuckin observant as me, you notice things. You see things. And you know what I see? Dumb fuktard parents buying up useless expensive shit for their dumbass babies, all to try and feel like they're being good parents.

Look, I grew up in a house where I literally thought we were going to be on welfare every day. My parents made it seem like we were a fucking pack of Upper Deck basketball cards away from being broke, and it wasn’t until only recently that I realized that they were pretty well off. I should mention they’re both doctors. I guess I should’ve known earlier, but they were (and still are) so goddamn cheap that any motherfucker would be fooled.

BLING BLING BYITCH!

YO BABY DUMB.